In today's society, women have come to the conclusion that they have made a big accomplishment by being single and independent. It is as if we hold trophies to our single status and are proud when we can pay bills, run a home and raise children without the assistance of a man. Colonial society has done a good job convincing women that we are somehow much stronger without men playing major roles in our lives.

It is important to understand that the goal of this system is to maintain control over the masses. I am sure that the message I'm trying to convey is no secret, but we as women need to start connecting the dots in order to see the full picture. Although we'd rather be perceived as a woman who has everything under control, the reality is, we as women need to depend on someone. But take a look at the society that you turn to when you finally need some assistance. Whether we need a career, pay raise, bank loan, food stamps, etc., when we need help we turn towards the same system that controls us.

If you listen to popular culture songs on the radio and see the average sitcom, you'll begin to see how much aspiring to being an independent woman plays a big role in the attitudes of women today. Okay, you may have a nice home, car, bank account, designer clothes and all the "finer" things in life. Once you have accomplished the goal of spending all your money for material gain and making the same ones who control you richer, how do you sleep at night?  Do you snuggle up with your cuddly fur coat or your Fendi bag? Certainly it should make us women think about what our goal is and what is really important.

We spend so much time playing the role of the male and female in relationships until we lose sight of what our role as women is. There is no room for the man to play his part and lead the relationship if you think you can do a better job with his role than he can. There is nothing that a woman can do without a man if the outcome is to be harmonious and something of quality. For starters, a woman cannot have a baby, as nature intended, without a man. He happens to be a very significant part in bringing forth life into the existence. Now if a man is needed to continue to populate the earth, why is he then not needed to carry out his obligations and responsibilities as a father, husband or family man? The man is head of the household, which should come with a sense of security for us, but we perceive this as controlling. Yes, if he is a man of quality, he should care about where we are, as his sister, wife, daughter or niece and what we are doing with our day. It is the man that protects the family. And us ladies flex our tiny muscles and change out of our skirts into pants to show who we think should be in authority.

It is very interesting to see how dynamic this action of switching our gender roles is because we can see how easily the roles become reversed. This leads to a lot of confusion in the household, especially with children. They have no idea which role they should own responsibility for. Either you breed the next generation of women to imitate your independent behaviors or you raise a daughter who has a multitude of male characteristics. This is a bad cycle that will continue to grow like weeds and our attitudes about men are the fertilizer.

Instead of depending on our own brothers, we pride ourselves on depending on the system that does nothing but laugh at us. You can even see in our history during slavery that the captors separated the men from the women so we'd lose that foundation of security from our fathers, uncles, brothers and husbands. Eventually we had to turn to our slave masters for guidance and help. This is a learned behavior. Did we forget about the men who were pharaohs, kings, priests, engineers, warriors, healers, drummers, etc? There is a strength in them that no woman can replace. Hopefully if you are reading this you'll take an opportunity to go home and meditate on this message. Allow trust to become the building block within your relationships with your fathers, uncles, brothers and husbands. These men in your lives are your rock. Try understanding what position you must play in a man's life. Because after all, even though you are a woman, you literally would not and could not be here without him.