Journey to the Ancestors and Beyond
The Initiate: Journey to the Ancestors and Beyond
I was caught between worlds, but I didn't realize it at the time. The modern, Christian, materialistic world that engulfs most people was the basis for my existence, but another world, one that was more spiritual and esoteric, was somehow beckoning me. I knew something in my life was not right, that something didn't make sense, that something was missing. Like everyone else who senses this lack, I turned to religion to find that elusive "something" that would make life seem worthwhile, complete, and bearable. I had never been a religious person, but I forced myself into Christianity, thinking that I would eventually find what the self-proclaimed "born-again" followers promised: love, peace and serenity (more because some of my close friends were so adamant about me finding the "truth" than because of any faith or belief that I had in its values and doctrines). While I forced myself to be open to Christianity, neither my mind nor my heart or spirit could accept the religion that supported slavery and the murder of those who were not "saved". My mind asked questions that even the most learned Christian could not answer sufficiently; our debates always ended in frustration, and they constantly told me that I lacked sufficient faith and belief - if I truly believed, I would somehow "know" the answers that they could not provide, even though they themselves were believers! I was actively recruited by Christians who felt the need to convert as many people as they could. While deep within myself I could never accept a spiritual path in which one could do absolutely anything one wishes and still be granted eternal bliss because he/she believes in and accepts a prophet-God, I tried thave an open mind. Until the day a "friend" invited me for a walk so that she could demand that I accept Jesus into my heart immediately, or face the consequences. Refusing to be bullied, I told her that I could not and would not do as she asked, and she never talked to me again.
After my search within Christianity, I looked to Buddhism. My eyes were opened to the world of meditation and self-awareness. I had no instructor, church or mentor on which to rely, and so I quickly abandoned all forms of organized religion. Instead, I read books on meditation and even convinced an acquaintance to teach me basic meditation that she had learned from the Maharishi school. She taught me one simple mantra, and I began my solitary practice. Then I heard the voice. While in meditation, I heard a voice clearly say, "Your aunt is dead and your grandfather is sick and dying". My aunt had recently passed. My meditation practice immediately stopped.
Life has a way of taking over, and time went on. My ancestors, however, did not let my daily life interfere with my destiny. I eventually found myself being introduced to M'TAM through Master Naba. His gentle teachings, often in the guise of friendly talks and discussions, changed me and opened my eyes. The hole in my life was shrinking.
Fast forward. The M'TAM School of Philosophy and Spirituality began. I registered as a part of the first group of students in this country to be knew that I educated in the knowledge of M'TAM and the initiations of Africa. With Master Naba as the teacher, a group of complete strangers came together with one goal: spiritual growth. We were a diverse group; an older new-age fanatic, a young African brother who missed his initiation at home, a naprapathy professional, a salesperson, a poet, a talented musician... most of us would never have become friends if we had met on the street. Slowly, through the teachings and experiences, we became friends.
Of course, as with all initiations, our class size diminished. Those who left early could not handle the intensity of the knowledge. Others left because of their ego's unwillingness to change. Others had racial issues and chose to let the fact that there was a white woman in the school affect their own destiny. But those that remained became a family.
We began learning the Medu (hieroglyphs). It was difficult, yet rewarding, and the pronunciation of the sounds affected my brain and mental state. The writing of the letters became a sort of therapy, and whenever I spoke or wrote the language, I felt a strange sort of comfort and recognition. As time went on, our education of the Medu became more intense, and as we learned, my way of thinking changed. Because Medu is the original language and the basis for all other tongues, the roots of common words were slowly revealed, as was their true history and meaning. My thinking became more conceptual rather than linear, and I realized that my beloved native language, English, was terrifically lacking in both finesse and expression. As I continue my Medu education, the spiritual world continues to be revealed to me, and my understanding of life and spirituality increases.
Master Naba's lectures hit me hard. He did not candy- coat things, nor did he hesitate or hold back. His speeches were, and continue to be, extremely eloquent and prophetic. For the first time, my questions are being answered. For the first time, things are making sense. For the first time, I feel comfortable.
Life has changed for everyone in the class. As we began the process of making our "dead relatives" into ancestors, the benefits manifested differently for each of us. Some of us began experiencing metaphysical events, others received visits in their dreams, and everyone began to feel a basic serenity that had escaped us before. We became more grounded and felt secure about both our place in this world as well as our place in the next.
Receiving knowledge about ancestors and how they affect our lives is, without a doubt, one of the most precious gifts Master Naba has given to us. This knowledge is vital, and having the knowledge is empowering. The fact that I have been given this knowledge is enough to make me drop to my knees in front of my teacher. This knowledge, pure and unadulterated, simply cannot be found elsewhere. It is vital knowledge and is as fundamental as learning how to take a shower or brush our teeth. It is because of this knowledge that, when my grandfathers died while I was out of the country, I was able to feel a sense of comfort knowing that I can communicate with and help them as they continue their journey, and that they can reciprocate. While I was unable to tell my grandfathers goodbye, I am able to have a continued relationship with them through my communication and offerings.
It has not been an easy journey, and there have been obstacles thrown in my path. An ignorant racist onlooker told me that the Gods would never accept me because of the color of my skin. I was confronted by insecure and troubled former classmates because I am white. I have fallen from grace in the eyes of my teacher, as we all have. I have been confronted with my personal issues, and I have been forced to grow. I have grown. I have survived the adversity and am continuing on my path of Khepra, or transformation. I have found that "something" that had been missing in my life for so long. My ancestors led me to Master Naba. I allowed them to guide me, and I remember to thank them for their guidance; I only wish there was a way to thank Neb Naba for his. Neither money, nor praise, nor service, nor words are sufficient to thank our teacher for the gifts he has given us.