Tweens in Trouble
Earth Talk: Tweens in Trouble
We must face the harsh reality that we live in a society that encourages corruption and destruction. The fact that corruption, lies, and scandals are found everywhere we turn - from our families and churches to our schools and workplaces - only helps mask the phenomenon; we are bombarded with propaganda supporting hedonistic attitudes every day, every hour, and every minute of our lives. Those who wish to perpetuate the cycle of destruction and self-destruction are miles ahead of the public on the racetrack of reality and have successfully herded us into their pastures of greed, lies, and pleasure. We do not see this reality because we are distracted from our true nature - we must work to feed ourselves and our families, we must seek out the most satisfying sexual encounters imaginable, we must drive the newest and shiniest gas-guzzling car, and we must dress according to the newest styles and trends. We are rodents in a running wheel inside their cage that they call modern society, and we have turned a blind eye to their methods and madness for far too long. Not only are we unable to see the consequences that the modern system has on our lives, but we are blind to the enormous pressures on our children to conform to the destructive media-driven values that this society encourages.
Twenty years ago, young children respected their elders. They spoke to their teachers with care and respect, listened to their parents, and would think twice about misbehaving or acting against the values that their parents worked so hard to instill into them. Those days have passed. Teachers are complaining that their third and fourth grade students are out of control, and parents have all but given up on disciplining their children. As the years pass, children increasingly speak and dress like adults, giving themselves the nights and responsibilities beyond their years without realizing that they have neither the capacity nor the tools to handle such responsibilities. There is no intelligent person who can deny this fact. If we take the time to look past our own daily struggles and peer into the problems of our youth, we will realize that seventh grade girls are getting pregnant, ten year old boys are having sex, nine year old youth are in gangs, and even the youngest child threatens their teachers and parents.
Where have we gone wrong? Every parent wants nothing but the best for their child and does their best to provide their family with a quality life. Human beings have not fundamentally changed - we all want what is good, and we all want to protect ourselves from what is bad or destructive. Why, then, are we falling into so much personal and societal destruction and corruption? Perhaps we need to take a closer look at the system in which we are functioning and the messages and values they are giving to our children.
TROUBLED CHILDREN
Kids in the fourth grade have been caught "in the bushes" at recess, and they are doing much more than we think. While curiosity is natural, children these days are doing much more than what the adults in their lives realize. Kids are becoming sexually active earlier and earlier - some sixth graders are having sex and 8 out of 10 boys and 7 out of 10 girls aged 15 to 17 have had sexual intercourse. The study, "Early Sexual Initiation: The Role of Peer Norms," with Dr. Kinsman as lead investigator found that 30 percent of the students entering sixth grade had already had sexual intercourse! Another study gives more modest reports: "About five out of every 20 seventh-grade students we see tell us they've had sexual intercourse," said Allison Buchalter, peer education coordinator for Planned Parenthood of Western Pennsylvania, which runs self-esteem programs for middle-schoolers in six schools in Allegheny County.
Every year, 1.3 million children are sexually abused. Most of these cases involve girls under age 11. Pro-pedophile groups are surfacing and are very loud in their agenda; meanwhile, our pre-teen girls are wearing belly shirts, low-ride jeans, and even thongs. Sexual violence against children (sometimes by other children) is increasing:
The Associated Press reported that a 9-year-old girl was raped by two 12- year-old classmates in a New York school stairwell hours after she was coerced into having sex in the same area by an 11-year- old boy.
The Associated Press reported that a 7-year-old boy allegedly sodomized a 7-year-old girl.
A 13-year-old eighth-grader at a Philadlephia middle school was charged with raping a 12-year-old fifth-grader inside the school. This incident was the second time within a week that a student was charged with raping another student in that school system.
Young pre-teen children in today's modern society are facing adult issues and concerns. Normal sized children are dieting because they are "too fat" According to a recent survey, 63% of seven to ten year old girls wear lipstick, while more than 40% wear eye shadow or eyeliner and 25% wear mascara. About half of all girls ages 11-14 wear blush, and by age 14, 58% of girls wear perfume. Hair colorants are also very popular: 27% of girls age 11-14 use them, while 35% of 13 to 14 year olds do.
We must admit that tinting or highlighting our hair was the furthest thing from our minds when we were in sixth or seventh grade. When we were young. girls were playing with dolls, stuffed animals, or friends, and boys were playing sports, collecting baseball cards, and exploring the neighborhood on bikes. In traditional societies and "non-modern" areas, children are allowed to be children without the pressures of adulthood - in some areas, once a man and woman get married, they need to be taught how to have sex! Maybe we need to look at the society we have created to find the answers to our questions of "why" our pre- teenage children (dubbed "tweens") have suddenly lost their innocence.
A wise man once said, "Cultural values change, depending on who is listening." It is one's society and culture that determines one's values. Apparently, our society is teaching our youth to have sex, do drugs, and speak disrespectfully, just as it teaches adults to cheat on their spouse, lie, and have fun. This fundamental issue is much too large to treat in one article; we will only try to explore how the media has affected our tween children (ages 8-12).
MARKETING
Marketing professionals are the ones who originally came up with the term "tweens" to describe kids between eight and twelve years of age. The term "tweens" captures the reality of this age group well: they are not quite kids, but not yet teenagers...they are between early childhood and adolescence. They have a very shaky sense of self, an even shakier sense of consequences for their actions. and heavily rely on others to tell them about the world and what is right, wrong, cool, or nerdy. Marketing gurus see this age group as a goldmine: they are old enough to have money of their own but young enough to avoid financial responsibilities such as car insurance, gas. and saving for college.
Today's tweens are no longer the authority-fearing tweens of our day; they are consumer-savvy and have learned the teenage rebellion and angst early. Tween girls no longer long for barbie dolls and stuffed animals, for those toys are too "babyish"; tween girls shop for padded bras (a bra on a nine year old?]) and makeup, thong underwear and sexy clothes. Tween boys, while slightly less influenced, are no longer into cars, models. and sports gear; they need electronics, video games, designer jeans and sexy images. Both boys and girls listen to overly-sexual pop music and fixate themselves in front of music videos showing violence, sexism, drugs/gangs, and sexuality. Of course, trends and fashion are determined by the media, and neither the media nor the marketing professionals are giving a second thought to the consequences of the products they are promoting for our children.
Bras and thongs: Young girls are out shopping for padded bras and thong underwear. Girls ranging from age nine to twelve are hot after padded bras, such as those from La Senza Girl, which can be size 30AA (the average US bra size is 36C)! Why are retailers selling such items for little girls? They claim it is just business - supply and demand. There is a demand for these items, so the store has to give what the customer wants. The retailers, marketers, and manufacturers, however, all too often dismiss their role in creating this demand that they claim to be a victim of. A ten year old little girl does not have the physical attributes that would require a bra, so why would she want one? Because she sees images daily of sexy women in thong underwear and push-up bras, and thinks that this is how she should look. Shari Graydon, media expert and former president for Media Watch, said in an interview: "I would fault the media." The media is tv, radio, movies, video games, magazines, music videos, etc. "And I would say that popular culture and the images that are so prevalent are responsible. You could point to Madonna as being the sort of leading edge envelope pusher 15 years ago, when she first did her video "Like a Virgin," and where she used to wear corsets or bra tops as exterior clothing. It doesn't seem so shocking now.
Kids are getting “older” younger and are dressing the part. Teachers across the country are complaining that little girls are coming to school dressed like prostitutes. Middle school principals report having consistent issues with mini-skirted 12- year old girls "draping themselves over boys" and grabbing their booties during the passing period. Meanwhile, 11-year old boys tease girls about their breasts.
Tweens are bombarded with sexy images, telling them (especially girls) that they need to look sexy to be worth the air they are breathing. Twelve-year old Amanda told a reporter that "You get more attention," by wearing sexy clothes. "Strange guys come up to you and try to get you to go to nightclubs."
The media and culture has done such a good job of indoctrinating our girls with the idea that they must look sexy to be liked that the girls will do anything to achieve this look. Ask any sixth, seventh, or eighth grade teacher what the kids are wearing, and they will tell you that it might not be what the parents think. Girls will come to school dressed in the clothes their parents approved of, just to head straight to the washroom to change into something racy and cool. They tote makeup bags to school, where they apply a heavy layer of eyeliner, lipstick, and mascara. Makeup is even sold in vending machines in schools, cinemas, and bowling alleys.
Bratz not Barbie: Bratz dolls are marketed to seven to nine year old little girls. The dolls are disgustingly trendy and firtatious. They sport heavy diva-like makeup and an oh-I'm-so- bored heavy attitude expression. The name of the dolls in themselves (Bratz), coupled with their "I'm too cool" attitude, teach little girls that being bratty is normal and desirable. Bratz dolls have usurped Barbies, and most young girls think that Barbie is too plain and wholesome. In fact, nine year old girls will tell you that Barbie is for five and six year olds. Instead of "playing house" with Barbie and Ken, little girls are playing more grown-up versions of "house" with their dolls, including flirting, seductive clothing, and snotty attitudes.
Kids are losing interest in toys at an earlier age, thanks to media, overstimulating electronics, and marketing. Manufacturers and retail giants are doing whatever they can to assure their share of the $600 that the average 12 year old has to spend each year. Toys R Us is thinking of adding music to their selection and, due to declining sales, is attempting to re-invent themselves to be cooler and more hip Tween stores are showing up in malls across the country, dedicating themselves to the tween fashion market: spaghetti strap tanks, belly tees, low cut jeans and mini- skirts for girls and baggy jeans, name- brand jackets, and warm-up gear for boys. Spy gear, portable video game systems, makeup, phones, and pagers are all marketed to ten year olds. Our children are no longer playing with cabbage patch kids, matchbox cars, or train sets. They are no longer building lego cities, having tea parties, or playing hide-and-seek with neighborhood friends. Instead, kids ages 8- 12 are searching magazines and the internet for flirting and dating tips, seeing PG-13 and R movies, listening to music, and watching their favorite musical icons slither across the tv screen in provocative clothes and situations. They don't ask for sports gear or easy-bake ovens; they want pagers, cell phones, and violent video games instead. Forget reading a book - they'd rather catch a movie or search the internet.
The media has done a wonderful job marketing these products to Our children. They pass the gadgets off as cool to the kids while telling the parents that they are educational. Kids see other kids in movies, on tv, and in advertisements with the latest gadgets and think that they are being left out. They have been convinced that electronics are "in", , normal, and necessary, while reading a book, playing an instrument, or pretending are "boring" It's in the advertisements, it's on tv, it's in the movies, and it's in the minds of our children: it's time to grow up and be cool, and you must leave the kid's toys behind.
Backtalk and Attitude: The days of kids fearing and respecting their elders are lost in modern society. Talking back, rebelling, and behaving uncontrollably are the normal standards of behavior and attitude for today's youth. When one goes to Africa, Mexico, India, and other traditional areas, one is always shocked at the level of respect and reverence youth give to their parents and elders; in modern society, however, children run the show.
Teachers complain that kids are unmanageable. A counselor in Queens Middle School commented that "If you tell them 'You have to do your homework, or you won't graduate' they look at you and say 'So?'' A middle school principal in New York reports the following: "I used to say to a kid behaving rudely, "Young man, would you speak that way at home?' and he would hang his head and say 'No'. Now I ask a kid, and he looks surprised and says, 'Yeah'"!
The number of juvenile crimes reported has grown disproportionately in the past 20 years. Crimes committed by preteens are on the rise, and we are seeing more headlines of tween violence. Take, for example, Nathaniel Abraham of Pontiac, Michigan, an 11 year old who stole a gun from his neighbor's garage and killed a teenager coming out of a store, or 11 year-old Andrew Golden who killed four children and one teacher at his Arkansas middle school with a 13 year old friend.
Marketers and manufacturers have jumped on the cultural "child-empowerment" bandwagon and are heavily pushing "girl power" and "kid power" through clothes, movies, tv, music, and propaganda. Movies such as Titanic feature character played by Kate Winslet telling her mother to shut up while giving her an obscene gesture. The Spice Girls, a popular British rock group, sang about "girl power" and how it can be achieved through makeup and self-assertion (rudeness). Tween girls flood websites talking about their power and determination to do whatever they want, regardless of adult intervention or consequence. "It's about no limitations." "Il's about not letting anyone judge you." YM magazine for tweens has a section called "Girl Zone: Your Guide To Kicking Butt" , and thousands of girls sport tees that say "Boys Suck". Eight year old kids are showing up on daytime talk shows and are being sent away to kiddie boot camp for threatening their parents with knives, beating up children, and overall horrible behavior.
Where are the children getting the model for these behaviors? Certainly the majority of their families are not modeling these bad actions; one must only look at the movies they see, the tv shows they watch, and listen to the music they play in their headphones. One glimpse into popular American ("modern) culture is all it takes to realize that the media has 20 turned our children into corrupt monsters with no roots in reality.
Sex and Drugs: Kids are no longer seeing themselves as kids. Studies show that by eleven years of age, most kids consider themselves teenagers. They describe themselves a flirtatious, savvy, fun, and sexy. Kids are having sex at earlier ages - approximately one in five middle-schoolers are sexually active. Seventh and eighth graders constantly talk about only sex. Second graders attending dances no longer want to do the hokey-pokey or square dances; they want to gyrate their hips and shimmy away with their partners. Anxious Girl Scout leaders worry because members of their troop are asking how to have an orgasm! Drug use is also starting much earlier. Kids no longer see marijuana as dangerous. Drinking alcohol before reaching ninth grade is now considered normal. Their favorite musicians sing about sex and drugs, and dress like brothel workers. and flaunt their bodies. Advertisements show near-naked people selling the newest and coolest products. Our children soak it in and then behave accordingly.
Body Image - Eating disorders are beginning to affect younger kids. Therapists are seeing more anorexics and obsessive dieters even among ten and eleven year old girls. Pre- teens have a complex about their bodies, and their bodies have not even developed yet! It's no wonder that girls are constantly fussing over their appearance, weight, and shape - virtually every magazine they see portrays models with figures impossible to obtain and clear, glowing skin that is only accomplished with an airbrush.
Consumerism - Kids are constantly receiving messages throughout every day of their lives to consume. Having a Gameboy is not enough - you need a Gameboy Color or Gameboy Advance. You will not be pretty or likable without the latest lipstick made just for tweens. You need ten pairs of shoes. two silky black dresses, and eight pairs of low-ride jeans to be fashionable, and therefore to be cool and liked.
Driving an old car? Gotta get a new one. Carrying last year's purse? Spend $100 on a new one even though there i nothing wrong with the old one. Have fun! Partyl Don't let anyone tell you you cannot do what you want to do! Life is about having fun and being cool! Forget adult guidance, listen to your friends! Look sexy! Be fast sexually! Drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes, and be cool!
Perhaps the greatest example of pro-consumerism tactics is the soon-to-be available Hello Kitty credit card. Yes, the popular Hello Kitty brand that is marketed on stationary, purses, pajamas, and other children's items will soon appear on a MasterCard debit card, and later, on a Hello Kitty prepaid cell phone. "We think it's a good way to teach teens good money management early on," said officials at MasterCard and Visa. Meanwhile, the card's website says "Freedom! You can use the Hello Kitty Debit MasterCard to shop till you drop!"
RESPONSIBILITY
Many of us do not see the hurricane of corruption that our children are facing. We are kept too distracted trying to make ends meet to really look into the lives and realities of our children, much less analyze the current cultural and social atmosphere and its consequences. It usually takes two incomes just to put food on the table and keep the lights on… many of us cannot be there for our children when they come home from school. This modern system is not only failing our children, but it is failing us and our way of life as well, but we cannot see it because it is too close to us.
Who is to blame? Is it the fault of the media for pushing sex, drugs, and hedonism on our children? Yes. Is the plight of our kids due to the manufacturers who make inappropriate products without concern for the impact they may have on the lives of children? Yes. Is it our own fault for not being present for our kids? Yes!
The truth is that we are all victims of this system. The problem is that we fail to recognize this reality.
Kids wear sexy clothes because they are "cool" and because the media tells them they should wear these types of things. Girls diet because the media tells them that they must be rail-thin or they will not have friends or a future. Boys act out because they receive the message that this kind of behavior is not only acceptable, but necessary to become a man. Kids are having sex because they are exposed to it through tv, advertisements, movies, music, and life around them. They talk back and disrespect each other and their elders because the media tells them they should.
But kids also wear sexy clothes because their parents buy the clothes for them. Girls diet and boys misbehave because their parents are not involved in their lives to teach them real values and proper behavior. They have sex, do drugs, and smoke because they have not been taught otherwise. They talk back and are violent because "modern" society convinces parents that disciplining their children is bad for their self-esteem. Kids run the show because parents allow them to do so.
What will it take before we wake up en-masse and get it together? We must understand that this system does not have our best interests in mind; their agenda is simply to make money. The system does not care that this continental market has dire consequences on our lives and on the lives of our children. What kind of future are we giving to our descendants by encouraging them to have sex at age eleven and to disregard all responsibility? What will our descendants say about us after we die? Why don't we care?
